Happiness is a state of mind tied to our emotions. This state of mind is often triggered by our present or past circumstances. Prolonged feelings of unhappiness can lead to poor health, and depression. Conversely, happiness leads to great health and a successful life. I have written about fun before in previous articles. However, today I write this article from a totally different place in my life. Prior to now, I understood the importance of fun, but, I misunderstood how easy it is to stop having fun. Further, I did not fully understand the connection between trauma and my life choices. As soon as I understood this, with the help of my therapist I recognized that my chronic need for security made me miss out on well deserved fun.
If you are a man or woman reading this article and you make time for fun on a consistent basis, congratulations to you. If you are like me and you still struggle with the idea of having “too much” fun, this article is for you. I have spoken to many women over the age of 35 who struggle with having fun. My question to you is, ” Why?”
I can only answer this question by analyzing my own childhood experiences with fun. From as early as I can remember, I was introduced to trauma before fun. However, I got to a point where I did not want to be 80 years old and look back and realize I did not make time for fun. I would certainly have regrets if this were to happen.
As a young girl, I was mostly an ” A student.” This became my focus. It was either an “A” or nothing. This began my obsession with perfection. I became a compulsive perfectionist always looking for the “A”. The alternative to this was a feeling of complete and utter inadequacy. At that point in my life, I literally felt like I would not be relevant if I was not in search of the A grade. As I grew older and my hunt for the A continued, I made less time for fun.
As a child, no one had a conversation with me to encourage me to have fun. I came from a culture that placed a high priority on traditional professions like being a doctor, lawyer, banker, etc. When I transitioned from mainstream media to a digital content developer in 2016, I was frowned upon as wasting time on social media. Today, I run two successful digital media brands in the U.S. Sometimes, you have to follow your heart and choose ” the road less traveled ” to get to your destination. I believe that we must follow our hearts when it comes to our calling and the money will follow.
Over the years, I have been more successful and peaceful when I felt happy with what I was doing. It is important to be happy and have fun. You deserve it‼️ Catherine Price in her book “The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again” looks at how important fun is to our resilience, happiness, and mental and physical health. She says true fun materializes when we experience the joining of three psychological states: playfulness, connection, and flow.
Playfulness is a quality of lightheartedness that allows you to do things just for the pleasure of it.
Connection refers to the feeling of having a special, shared experience with another person.
Flow is the state of being fully engaged and focused, often to the point that you lose track of time.
If you stop having fun in your marriage, you become unhappy, and it can lead to a divorce. If you stop having fun at your job, you start thinking of resigning and looking for a new job.
Having fun can have positive effects on our overall well-being and have both physical and mental benefits.
It reduces stress levels
Quality of sleep is improved
Clears the mind
Boost energy levels
Improves social connection
Laughter reduces anxiety
It’s funny how our research did not reveal any health benefits for worrying or being a perfectionist or workaholic. However, having fun was highly recommended for a better quality of life. As parents and mentors, it is very important as we teach our children to dream big, teach them to have fun. The fun mindset leads to permanent happiness and a better quality of life.
The pandemic did a lot to change the mindset of many people. Many of us made great changes to the quality of our lives. Most of us returned to business as usual and forget that it is a privilege to be alive. If you are lucky enough to see a other day, take inventory. Ask yourself if you are having fun and if you are living the life you prayed for. If the answer to your question is, “No,” then you know what to do. Go live your best life. It’s yours, nobody elses.
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